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3 months ago

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Confessions Video

Unit Topic: Bereavement/Loss
Focus Question: Predict the impact of bereavement/loss on the individual, family, and community.

Summary: This young girl, Brittany Carel, made a confessions video about her mother. Unfortunately, her mother has Alzheimer’s Disease and often cannot do the things a normal person can do- like cook, eat, read, remember things, etc. There is a lot of emotion on Brittany’s end through this video, and I chose this video specifically because I know many elderly people who have Alzheimer’s Disease and although it does not affect me in the magnitude that it affects Brittany, I can certainly relate.

Analysis:

As you can see through the video, Brittany is deeply affected by her mom’s disease. Imagine, at 15 years old, having a mom, but having her forget who you are regularly. Having to say “I am your daughter” over and over again. I can’t even begin to imagine the hardship Brittany and her family have had to go through.

Brittany, having a mom with Alzheimer’s, must take a lot of responsibility for her mom, and in addition must have to be very patient and caring at all times. While you may think that this is not really “bereavement” or “loss”, it is. Brittany has essentially lost some of her childhood. She has had to deal with things that most teenagers will never even encounter in their lives. She has lost some of those special moments she could have had if her mom did not have Alzheimer’s. She has a loss through her mom’s loss of memory. She has lost the ability to recount cherished memories with her mother due to Alzheimer’s. While this is not a loss as in a passing, it is absolutely a loss of innocence.

I can relate to this as I’ve been volunteering at an assisted living for the past 4 years, and during that time I’ve met numerous residents with Alzheimer’s and early stages of dementia.

My first time volunteering at the manor, I helped an elderly woman by the name of Beth Gonet, read her bingo card. She thoroughly enjoyed my presence and gave me a warm hug at the end of the round, thanking me for my help. The next day I returned to help Beth again but when I asked her, “Hi Beth! Do you remember me? It’s Radhika from yesterday”. She just shook her head regretfully and looked down. At that moment I realized that I had my first encounter with an Alzheimer’s patient.

So, I have known Beth for 4 years now. I know all about her childhood and her family life, her hobbies, likes and dislikes- the whole 9 yards. And this past weekend when I went to volunteer again, she asked me if I was Katie. No, I’m not Katie, and no, I was not angry at her. I can only get upset that SHE is the one suffering, and I can’t do anything about it. Each time I see one of the residents, I try to picture myself meeting them for the first time. But it’s very hard, especially when a bunch of them can’t remember my name. Despite how this upsets me at times, knowing that they appreciate me being there with them, and my ability to make them laugh is all worth the while.

I have many stories like these- some more hard to deal with than others. One of the residents who really loves me, Alton, hadn’t seen me for a long time, but saw this past weekend. I said, “Hey Alton! How are you doing?” as I warmly embraced him. He said, “Not too good, hunny”. I looked at him soon to realize that he was in tears, sobbing quietly. He looked at me again and said, “It’s good to see you. I’ve missed you”. I was trying to contain myself, I didn’t want to cry right in front of him. I rubbed his back and said, “I’ve missed you too. You’ll be seeing more of me. I promise”. I rolled him to his room, then got into the elevator and lost it. That was the first time any resident had ever cried in front of me, especially one I care so much about.

Through my many friendships at the manor, I finally realize the impact I can have on one life just through the act of kindness. Each time I go volunteer at independence Manor, I try my hardest to at least make one person smile, to maybe make at least one person’s day just a little brighter. And I always believe that the little things you do for people go a long way.